I’d say a clear difference between blogging about movies as a casual hobby and being a real movie reviewer is deciding what to watch.  I’m like anybody else insofar as I choose what to watch based on what I think is going to be good.  I also factor in reviews.  What tends to happen is if the movie has a high Rotten Tomato score, and it’s a popcorn sort of movie, odds are I’m not going to like it.  And if it has a low Rotten Tomato score, odds are I’m not going to like it either.  And if it’s an old movie with high nostalgia value, odds are I’m going to like it a lot more than the Rotten Tomato score says I should.  That’s pretty much the pattern.

That’s not to say bad movies don’t have their fans, they do, and it’s one of my pet peeves how certain classes of fan seem to heap universal praise on complete dreck.  But they do, and then they love to commiserate over their praise.  Hey, different strokes for different folks.

However, I’m not going to go out of my way to see a new movie just so I can write a blog post about it.  That’s an expensive proposition if I see tons of movies I don’t like.  So what you’re going to tend to get is feedback on how I feel about movies that I’ve at least tried to pre-screen.  Most of the time I’m going to be slightly disappointed, because I’m just really picky and my taste runs so counter to modern fashion trends (i.e. shaky cam, FX worship, etc…).

So here’s a list of movies I’m NOT going to see because there are too may red-flags.

Ghost in the Shell is currently at 43% Rotten Tomatoes.

I like Scarlett Johansson, and I like the idea of live-action anime, but this is a classic case of a “so-so” movie where the RT score is slightly below 50% and the unwashed mashes are more favorable, rating it above 50%.  I pretty much know that I will find it ultimately a waste of my time.

Beauty and the Beast

This one has a relatively high RT score of 71% and the unwashed mashes rate it higher.  However, even though I like Emma Watson, I’ve already seen this story before, namely the original animated version, and from what I’ve read about the film, it plays very much like a direct retread.  In other words, it feels superfluous other than the glitz and the desire to give it more of a contemporary social justice sheen.

Kong: Skull Island

I’ve covered a lot of monster movies lately.  If there was something I might be inclined to watch, it’s this one.  And the RT score is 77% which is decent.  However, the film’s trailer makes it feel very much like a mashup of King Kong and Apocalypse Now.  That’s not a combination that I’m particularly interested in.  The most successful combination of horror and Vietnam-esque war movie to me was Aliens.  Also, I’m still suffering from the ill effects of Peter Jackson’s Kong.  So maybe I’ll catch it on video later.

Lego Batman Movie

I cover a lot of kiddie movies, taking them serious enough to present them as if they have intrinsic value for adults.  Why wouldn’t I be interested in this one, considering it has a 90% on Rotten Tomatoes?  In this case I guess I’ve had my share of comedic kiddie fare.  Same deal with the recent Boss Baby.  When it comes to kid’s movies, humor is the lowest-common-denominator.  And there’s been so much of it that I kind of look back and only a few things rise to the top.  The first Kung Fu Panda, for instance, or the second Shrek movie (although I’m really tired of Shrek).  Everything else just sort of disappears into a blur of sit-com-like punch-lines.  So while I used to love legos and I love Batman, I can’t justify paying a full price ticket for this.  Again, maybe catch it on video.

Logan

How about Logan?  92% on Rotten Tomatoes.  It’s being hailed as finally making comic-book movies feel “adult” (although I thought Christopher Nolan already accomplished that).  Well, my problem with Logan is that I hear it has some graphic violence that would make Quentin Tarantino blush, and it takes place in a sort of Mad Max future dystopian wilderness.  I have to be in the right frame of mind to sit down to something this bleak, but right now I’d prefer something more escapist and uplifting.  So probably eventually, but later.

Lots of other obvious dreck out there like CHiPs and Power Rangers and Smurfs (and Boss Baby, forget that).  We’re at the spring doldrums preceding the Summer movie season, so that’s why there’s not much out there.  But outside of having to choose something in order to go on a date, I just don’t see myself going to the theater right now.

 

 

 

 

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